7 Practical Ways to Improve Your Self Esteem

We’ve all wondered how to improve our self esteem from time to time. Some of us struggle with a touch of low self esteem. Some of us, however, managed to make it into adulthood with just a whisper of self esteem – barely enough to keep the facade going from day to day. You know who you are. The chameleon people who latch onto the identities of others – ever changing as the wind. Or the person in your friend group who never has a preference for anything and is the first one to help everyone else out with their troubles. That person who always defers to their spouse or their kids for every little thing.

Whether you are struggling with just a spell of low self esteem, a long term sufferer or wondering how to help a friend, there are ways to improve your own concept of self. Anyone who has struggled with self image, self worth or self esteem issues may want to start by seeking mental health counseling. That’s certainly where I started. And after a while, I was ready to dig into some practical, action-oriented ways to improve my relationship with self. Below are 7 of the most helpful things I did.

1. Get moving

   I spent so many years swirling around in my head trying to figure out how to be happy, how to improve my life, how to fix myself, how to <inset anything and everything> that I almost forgot I had a body. Turns out that my relationship with myself started with taking care of that body I’m walking around the earth in. So whether you are already an avid runner or a regular couch potato, just get moving. Take a walk, do some yoga, go for a hike, get on a bike or whatever strikes your fancy. But keep moving. Notice your body and how it feels when you move. Your body is unique to you and completely awesome.

2. Make a gratitude list

   Gratitude is an antidote to many of our modern ailments such as general dissatisfaction, comparison fatigue, restlessness and irritability. Cultivating a daily practice of gratitude can also help build your self-esteem. My favorite daily practice of gratitude is through a 30 day texting connection with a friend. Check out our blog post here on how to do that.

3. Take yourself on fun dates

   A wise person asked me a long time ago “if you had no responsibilities for a day, how would you spend it to enjoy yourself?” I was speechless and couldn’t come up with answer. I simply didn’t know what I would enjoy. I didn’t know myself at all due to my low self esteem. So I started taking myself on dates. Sounded really goofy at first, but I wanted to explore what I enjoyed a few hours at a time. Just me. Didn’t have to impress anyone else. I went to museums. I went bowling. I made pottery. I went to the theater. I attended lectures at the local university. I learned to like myself better and enjoy my own company. Side benefit I learned a lot more about my town too!

4. Affirmations

   Stuart Smalley of SNL gives affirmations a bad name. Yes, it feels a little silly to tell yourself good things, but for whatever reason that positive stuff works. If you can’t think of any affirmations for yourself, ask a trusted friend what they like about you and write it down.   So get over it and tape some affirmations to your mirror. Or write them in your phone and put them in a reminder everyday. Whatever. Just do it.

5. Fire your inner critic

   On the flip side of affirmations, you got to fire your inner critic. You know that incredibly sharp, horrible, critical voice inside your head that always finds the worst in everything you do. That voice that you would never let loose on another person but you relentlessly allow to bully yourself. Shut that voice down.  At least send them on a long vacation or put them in time out!

6. Be of service

   Similar to how gratitude is an antidote to many modern ailments, being of service can lift your spirits and your self esteem. Humans are hard-wired to help others in need and we feel better about ourselves when we are of service. So find a place where you can lend a helping hand. You’ll be helping them and yourself at the same time. Win-Win.

7. Learn something new

   Use your noggin and learn something new. YouTube is filled with videos that will teach you anything you ever wanted to know. So pick something and just try it. Always wanted to try knitting? There’s a video on that or a book at the library. Always wanted to try sketching? Grab a pencil. Find a MeetUp group on a topic you love if you are more social. The point is to explore with yourself whatever you are interested in because you are worth it.

Building self esteem takes time. It isn’t an overnight job but it is completely doable. Keep showing up for yourself. Try some of these suggestions and ask people you trust for others. Leave comments below with other ideas. Would love to hear your experience, strength & hope.