Being Yourself Even in a Critical Environment
From the moment you enter the room you can already feel the tension. It clings to you like the air on a hot and humid summer day. But you notice that you’re not the only one feeling the tension. You are waiting for some criticism to come flying your way. It’s just a matter of time before the barbs and judgements come. Others seem to be navigating the environment with extreme apprehension. Everyone deliberately tries to make sure they don’t trip the alarm.
Most of us have experienced this type of environment at one time or another. We’ve been in places where people are extremely critical, places that are a factory of stress. This can be at the workplace or around family. In such situations, below are some simple suggestions so you can mentally tell everyone to “take a hike” and just be yourself.
Avoid Shoes that Don’t Fit
Feedback and criticism are nothing but pieces of data. Most of the time, we place a lot of value and importance on this type of information – especially if it comes from colleagues or family members. But in reality, the data doesn’t have to be any more or less valuable than any other kind of information.
When you receive this type of information, examine it thoroughly. If the information seems valuable and applicable, then store it or put it into practice. If not, discard it.
You would never wear a pair of shoes that don’t fit just because someone else handed them to you. You wouldn’t endure blisters and sore feet day after day, just because someone handed you poorly fitting shoes. So why would you allow yourself to be shoed-in by a critical environment?
When you realize that you’re not obligated to wear the criticism that comes at you when you’re in a toxic environment, you liberate yourself to continue to just be you.
The Road Directs the Car
When a car comes to a bend in the road, the car is obligated to follow the road’s lead. The car can absolutely choose its own path—and end up in a ditch—but by no means is the car telling the road what to do.
Likewise, you are in control of your life and actions. Your environment does not control you. Part of being yourself in a critical environment is taking ownership of yourself and your actions.
You can build your own road to take you to all the amazing places you have always wanted to go. Let the other cars to decide if they will follow your lead or end up in a ditch
Buy Stock in Yourself
You bring something unique and valuable to every environment you encounter. You possess your own set of skills, talents, and abilities. These can enhance and enrich every situation. Don’t deprive others of what you have to offer because you are worried about what some people will say.
Instead, invest in what you have to offer and reap the rewards of your investment. Your biggest reward is that you will get to spend your time, focus, and energy on the things you want to, instead of being drained by the fear of other people’s criticism.
Be a Salmon
For salmon to breed, they leave the ocean and swim upriver, so they can spawn in rocky riverbeds. Swimming upstream is not an easy task. And it’s dangerous. But salmon don’t mind being different.
When you’re in a critical environment, there are probably others who want to break this cycle as much as you do. Someone has to be the first salmon to go upstream. Go against the flow and swim upstream by being yourself. Who knows who will decide to follow you.
If you bring the right level of humility, vulnerability, humor and leadership to the table, the dynamics of the entire group could change for the better. Either way, you will be happier remaining true to yourself.
P.S. If you are looking for more inspiration, check out this great TedxTalk below called Finding the Courage to be Yourself (7 minutes long).
