Don’t Let Your Inner Critic Compare Yourself to Others
Your inner critic can be fueled by a number of sources, both internal and external. Such negativity doesn’t need much of a spark in order to rage out of control. Comparison to others is one trigger that can cause insecurity and negativity to spiral. Perhaps such comparisons are a problem for you, too. Looking outside yourself can be a source of motivation if it’s done in a healthy way. Unfortunately, too many of us compare our messy insides to the “Instagram ready” exterior of others. Here are some ways to stop letting your inner critic compare yourself to others.
1. Focus on Your Strengths
There are a number of things you can do when you notice you’ve fallen into a slump of feeling bad about yourself because you’re not as good, talented, or worthy as someone else. The first is to recognize that we all have different strengths and limitations. Focus on your strengths and remind yourself that you possess a number of talents and characteristics your friend may not.
2. Express Gratitude
In addition to having different competencies, we all have unique resources and opportunities at our disposal. It’s not fair to compare yourself to someone who may have an advantage over you in terms of education, experience, or skill. We don’t all start at the same place in life. Rather than compare yourself to others whose backstory you may not know, why not take a moment to feel grateful for what you do have. Expressing gratitude can be one of the quickest ways to kick self-criticism to the curb.
3. Consider a Social Media Fast to no longer compare yourself to others
Social media can be awesome. Catching up with friends and family, seeing photos of their vacations, and reading about their milestones in life can be fun and exciting. Unfortunately, it can also come with some negative effects, including lowering your self-confidence. It’s so easy to unfairly compare yourself to others and let your inner critic run wild when you spend lots of time looking at the lives of others. Being bombarded by the highlights of your friends’ seemingly perfect lives can even lead to sadness and anxiety.
· Set a Schedule
If you feel like you’re constantly checking social media and are getting overwhelmed by the feeling that everyone else is living a better life, consider limiting your time on the sites. Checking sites constantly can actually feel like an addiction for some. Your brain is rewarded by the interesting posts and you keep going back for more. If those posts are also making you feel bad about yourself, it may be even more problematic. Try limiting yourself to checking only a few times each day and set a social media schedule. This might help you to feel less pressure.
· Let Go of FOMO
Surely, you’ve heard of FOMO. It’s a phenomenon that’s come about recently and is particularly due to social media use. It stands for “fear of missing out.” When you see mostly the best parts, or highlight reels, of the people you follow, you’re bound to feel like you’re not doing enough in life or that you’re missing out on great things. Try letting go of that feeling. Focus, instead, on being grateful for the great things in your own life. Consider your own highlight reel, which might be pretty great in itself.
· Adjust Your Feed
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that your social media experience is your own. You don’t have to follow anyone whose posts don’t energize you. You may want to consider hiding, unfollowing, or unfriending certain people if their feed is causing you stress. Toxic family members, bragging acquaintances, or unrealistic online influencers come to mind as the types of folks you may want to eliminate from your feed.
· Take a Break
If all else fails, you can try to quit cold turkey for a while. Taking a break from social media completely can be a great way to reset yourself. You’ll get away from the constant influence of what others are doing and you can focus on all the things you enjoy within your own like, such as connecting more with your real-life friends or pursuing your hobbies.
In today’s world of social media, comparison can be even more of an issue than ever before. People put only their best foot forward on sites like Facebook and Instagram. All of us are constructing a picture of our lives that we want others to see. Rarely do people showcase their hardships. Recognize that you probably aren’t seeing the whole picture. Why compare yourself to someone who may have things worse than you do in the world outside of social media. Unfollow anyone whose posts cause you to feel your life isn’t up to par.
If you aren’t having luck with the tips above to no longer compare yourself to others in a negative way, see if you can reframe comparison as a source of motivation. If someone has something in life you wish you could attain, make a plan for how you may reach such an achievement or have similar experiences. Using comparison to motivate yourself can be productive.
Either way, try not to spend your precious energy on negative comparisons.
You may also be interested in our popular ebook, Hush Now – Quiet Your Inner Critic, and the accompanying Workbook available on Sale now in our Digital download section.
