Your Inner Critical Voice is Mean! So Stop Listening.
Would You Talk to Your Friend Like Your Inner Critic Talks to You?
They say we’re often our own harshest critics, and this is certainly true in many circumstances. The inner voice that is only too happy to dole out the criticism is never very nice about it, that’s for sure. When you’re listening to your inner critic voice, it’s easy to lose perspective. The negative, harsh messages you receive can truly hurt, and they usually remain in place for a long time. A good way to manage that voice and turn things around is to reframe the words you tell yourself. Instead of being mean and insensitive in your messages, try to consider what you would say to a friend instead.
Be Gentle
Take time to break down the messages you’re sending yourself. Is there a way you can rephrase these things so that they’re gentler? That would be a great start toward overcoming the toxic effects of your inner critic. For example, pay attention to words like “never” or “always” and consider whether they’re realistic. Instead of saying, “I never do anything right”, you can say, “I’m not good at everything, but there are lots of things I do very well.” Being gentle with yourself can go a long way toward helping you to banish your inner critical voice once and for all.
Be Constructive
Remember that some criticism is good. Constructive criticism can actually help you to identify limitations and create goals to work toward. This type of critique is specific. It points out particular areas that need attention. Your inner critic isn’t helpful or wise. It’s usually just plain mean. Its messages come from emotions like fear, insecurity, doubt, and loneliness. “You’re no good at anything,” is vague and definitely doesn’t fall under the constructive type of criticism. This type of blanket statement also doesn’t give you any sort of goal or action to work toward. It doesn’t motivate you to work for your goals or to try anything new. Its purpose is to keep you in place.
Constructive criticism is always appreciated over harsh words. A criticism may have a valid portion at its roots. Take time to dissect the messages you’re giving yourself. If you do think there may be a spark of truth to them, find ways to frame that bit into more helpful feedback. Instead of berating yourself for not being good enough, remind yourself that you could use some practice or study in a particular area if you want to excel. This is a much more empowering message to receive.
Write Down and Examine Your Inner Critical Voice
Getting a handle on your inner critical voice involves awareness, confidence, and planning. Make a list of your most frequent self-criticisms, along with the suspected root of those messages. This will allow you to look for patterns and note your trouble spots. Once you become aware of your patterns of negative self-thought, you can work to turn that thinking around to something more useful. Consider which patterns are genuinely things you can work on or that have a solution. Perhaps you are unhappy in your current career and you’re afraid you won’t be able to get a different type of job or promotion. Are there legitimate reasons why that is? Write down what’s holding you back and discuss it with someone you trust. Lack of education or skills is something you can work on. Brainstorm solutions to the problems you discover.
You’ll then feel better about yourself, and your confidence is likely to soar once you’re able to let go of all that self-loathing commentary. You’ll begin to develop a plan for dealing with the negativity for good. All of this is a process, though. It requires some time and organization.
Be Kind
Above all, be kind to yourself. You wouldn’t say mean things to a friend or loved one. Try to show yourself the same kind of care. Remind yourself that it’s okay to have insecurities, fears, and doubts. Be your own cheerleader and give yourself positive messages to counter your inner critic. Positivity and kindness can do wonders. If you practice this pattern long enough, you’ll start to see that your inner critic becomes a lot quieter.
Keep these suggestions in mind when dealing with your inner critic. By reframing the messages it sends and treating yourself as you would a friend, you’ll make a great deal of progress toward reaching your goals and achieving great things.
Do you find other ways to stop your inner critic from talking to you so relentlessly? Tell us about it in the comments below!
P.S. You may also be interested in our popular ebook, Hush Now – Quiet Your Inner Critic, and the accompanying Workbook available on Sale now in our Digital download section or in our YouTube channel.
