Recognizing Your Negative Self-Talk
You know that your inner critic does not offer constructive criticism. It gives you the exact opposite, spouting untruths and exaggerations that are meant to keep you in your place. Listening to your own negative self-talk is self-defeating. Giving into that voice will never allow you to move ahead. That’s why it’s so important to take small steps toward overcoming it. Recognizing negative self talk and where it came from is a big step toward stopping it in its tracks. Keep these things in mind when your inner critic starts acting up.
Pay Attention to Your Feelings
How you think has a direct and strong effect on how you feel, which then translates into your actions. Pay attention to your mood. If you’re experiencing any kind of negative emotion, that’s a key sign that you should take care with your thoughts. Feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety will definitely influence that inner critic of yours. Listening to what it’s saying during these times of complex, negative emotions will likely lead to a negative outcome. You only sabotage yourself when trying to make decisions when dealing with these emotions. Instead, recognize and acknowledge your feelings. Reassure yourself that your self-talk isn’t likely to be realistic or true at this time.
Listen to Your Words
You should also pay attention to the actual words you’re saying and the way you’re acting if you want to gain insight into whether or not your negative self-talk is becoming a problem. If you find yourself complaining or criticizing frequently, there’s a good chance it’s because your inner critic is spiraling out of control. Many of us become so used to this terrible, horrible, no-good voice in the back of our minds that we don’t even notice it on a regular basis. We just accept this self-criticism as a part of ourselves. If you take time to notice patterns in your words and actions, you’ll be better able to gauge the negativity of your thoughts.
Understand the Connection between Emotion and Words and Actions
Can you see just how interconnected your inner thoughts, feelings, and actions are? They influence each other and can work quite well together to hold you back. This type of self-sabotage can be countered once you’re better able to recognize when things are starting to go sideways.
Recognize Past Influences on Your Negative Self Talk
Sometimes there’s more than our own perceptions influencing that voice inside our heads. We have a lifetime of experiences that have contributed to who we are. It only makes sense that our interactions with the people in our lives would have an influence on the messages we give ourselves. We internalize these words and make them a part of our being. Overcoming the negative influence of past experiences can take a lot of work.
First, it’s important that you become aware of past influences and how they’ve affected your self-talk. This awareness can be a difficult and emotionally draining process, but it’s important to go through it in order to understand where your self-critical beliefs may stem from. Think about the types of negative messages you may have received throughout your life. Which have been repetitive? Those are the ones that may be most difficult to extinguish. Who was the source of these harsh words? The relationship may make the messages even stronger especially if that person held power over you in some way like a parent, teacher or coach.
Trust Your Gut
Once you’ve figured out your patterns of negative self talk, it’s time to tear them apart. Examine them carefully and try to separate what’s true from what someone else may have simply placed upon you due to their own issues. Trust your gut when making these determinations. You know yourself well enough to accept your flaws and limitations. We all have them, and that’s okay. Just be sure you also trust yourself enough to know what’s fiction.
Counter Each Negative with a Positive
A good strategy to get in the habit of using is to counter each negative statement you make with at least one positive one. If you determine that there is a bit of truth to some of the past messages you’ve received, accept that. However, be sure to tell yourself at least one positive trait you also possess in order to not get mired in the negative beliefs you’ve internalized throughout your life. Getting stuck in repetitive negative self talk is never productive.
Seek Help with Overwhelming Negative Self Talk
Some of the negative influences from your past may be too entrenched to deal with on your own. Don’t hesitate to seek help from a professional counselor if you feel you would benefit from an unbiased source to help you sort through it all. There’s no shame in receiving assistance. You could even just ask trusted friends for a second opinion to help you sort out some of the negative self talk in your head.
Soon, you’ll be better able to recognize what is true from what has been internalized through the words of others. You’ll be able to stop yourself from becoming your own worst enemy.
Leave us a comment below about your journey to subdue negative self talk. We’d love to hear from you.
P.S. You may also be interested in our popular ebook, Hush Now – Quiet Your Inner Critic, and the accompanying Workbook available on Sale now in our Digital download section or visit our YouTube Channel.
