Get a Second Opinion on Self Critical Thoughts
Your inner critic gains a great deal of its strength specifically because of the fact that it’s internal. These are the messages you’re giving yourself, and sometimes your view can be skewed. It’s hard to see the best in ourselves, especially when our negative self-talk doesn’t ever seem to let up.
That’s when it might be time to get a second opinion. Someone you trust who has known you a significant amount of time is usually a good source for realistic feedback. People from your inner circle will usually be upfront about your strengths and your limits.
Allowing self critical thoughts to marinate in your mind will allow them to grow and fester. You may run in circles or create worry for yourself where none is necessary. The issue at the source of your self-criticism won’t be solved, if there even is a real issue to begin with. Sharing your concerns or thoughts will help in multiple ways.
Just saying your thoughts out loud may help you realize it isn’t a valid concern. Receiving feedback from a trusted sounding board may help you put the situation in perspective. Getting support and talking it out may show you that you were being way too harsh on yourself and expose the inner thought for what it really was – your inner critic messing with you.
Examine How You Are Dealing with Criticism
Criticism is a fact of life. There will be people who aren’t happy with you or who ask you to improve in some way. And that’s okay. Sometimes, it can feel like the end of the world when someone is critical toward us. Such actions can send our inner critic into overdrive. This is especially true if you’re someone who is sensitive to being criticized. There are ways to handle criticism with grace and to actually use it to your advantage. The following tips will help you to examine how you’re dealing with criticism in a more productive manner so that you can lessen self critical thoughts .
· Consider the Source
First of all, it’s important to consider the source of the criticism. This can give you insight into whether the individual has your best interests at heart or if the problem might actually lie within them. People who care about us and desire a better relationship with us usually only criticize in an attempt to improve future interactions or to help us. Other times, it’s possible that someone may be critical due to their own insecurities or unhappiness. Try to determine which you’re dealing with next time someone is critical of you.
· Separate Truth from Fiction
In most cases, people approach you with criticism because they feel there is a valid reason to do so. So, it’s important to try to take away the truth of their words and to look for the lessons in what they’re saying. What’s valuable about this critique? Is it coming from a place of good intent? If there is negative emotion attached to the criticism, try to separate that from the underlying message. It’s easy to let our inner critic bombard us with our biggest fears, rather than what actually occurred.
· Separate Criticism from Judgment
Understand that criticism isn’t an attack on your entire identity. You aren’t usually being judged as a person. Typically, the person with the complaint is only addressing one issue or aspect of who you are. This can even be something that is temporary. Take time to evaluate whether the person would simply like you to alter one behavior or if they are unhappy with who you are. In most cases, it’s the former.
· Find the Lesson
If you determine that there is some truth to the criticism, figure out how you can learn from it. What can you take away from the situation to improve your relationship with that person or to become a better version of yourself? There is usually value in critical communication if you take time to look for it, rather than simply reacting.
Keep all of these things in mind the next time you receive criticism from someone. You can choose the way in which you handle such a scenario. Taking time to assess the situation and to look at the criticism rationally can help you to determine its intent and the ways in which you might benefit from it.
Find a Cheerleader to Help You Manage Self Criticial Thoughts When Your Inner Critic Won’t Hush
By now, you understand how relentless your inner critic can be. It takes a lot of strategy and resilience to keep it at bay. You should also know that you don’t always have to battle your inner meanie on your own. Having a support network of friends, family, and co-workers can be extremely beneficial to your overall wellbeing and can help you to overcome many of the obstacles presented by your inner critic. You may want to recruit a whole team of friends to help you manage self critical thoughts from swimming around in your head.
· Emotional Support
We all need some emotional support now and then. Someone to tell us it’s going to be okay and that we can do great things. Relying on people who care to reassure you that you’re wonderful and to listen to your fears isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength and a blessing. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your crew when you’re feeling uncertain.
· Unbiased Feedback
Your inner critic is not objective. It looks to tear you down and emphasizes all of your perceived flaws. Friends won’t do that. While you don’t want your network to sugarcoat anything or avoid being truthful with you, it’s usually safe to say that the people in your closest circle know you pretty well. They understand you and continue to stick by you. So, you can probably count on them to provide much more unbiased feedback than you get from your inner critic.
· Helpful Guidance
Negative self-talk often steers you in the wrong direction. It tells you not to even try or to give up when something seems too difficult. It tells you you’ll never succeed. Your cheerleaders see a more realistic picture of your capabilities. Count on them for guidance when you’re not sure how to proceed or when you just need a pep talk.
· Improved Motivation
When you’re feeling your lowest is when that inner critic is most likely to strike. It can be so easy to give up and forget about your goals. Instead, call up a close friend and ask if you can chat about what you’re facing. Chances are, when you’re done with the conversation, you’ll feel much more motivated to give it a go than you did when you listened to your inner critic. Don’t hesitate to reach out. That’s what cheerleaders are for.
Keep these benefits in mind when you’re feeling alone, and your inner critic is taking over. Your cheerleaders can be a huge help when it comes to overcoming the internal dialogue that is trying to hold you back.
Talk with a Friend or Family Member
If your self critical thoughts are revolving around your personal life, you could talk to a trusted friend, parent, or sibling. Someone you are comfortable with and someone whose opinion you respect. It can be good to get an outside perspective as long as they are sincere, loving, and respectful.
Talk with a Coworker, Partner, or Mentor
If your inner critic is hounding you about your work life, you may decide to confide in a business bestie or a close coworker. Once again, this person should be someone who is open, respectful, and honest with you. Make sure it is someone you trust with your thoughts and feelings. Depending on what your inner critic is telling you, you may want to chat with your boss or clients to get feedback from them. That feedback can help you realize you are on the right track and can silence the self-doubt and internal criticisms.
Talk with a Therapist
Sometimes it isn’t a bad idea to seek professional help. If you are not finding closure by speaking with friends, family, or work buddies, you may decide to speak with a therapist. That may help you resolve your internal conflict and deal with your inner critic. Among other things, therapists are trained to helped you manage self critical thoughts and thought patterns.
Remember, don’t give your inner critical thoughts even more power by allowing them to stay internal, swirling around your mind wreaking havoc. Make sure you get it out in the open or seek feedback from a trusted friend, family member, or therapist.
Leave us a comment below about your fantastic circle of peeps who helps quiet those self critical thoughts.
P.S. You may also be interested in our popular ebook, Hush Now – Quiet Your Inner Critic, and the accompanying Workbook available on Sale now in our Digital download section or in our YouTube Channel.
