Start a Journal and Improve Self Reflection
Has “start a journal” been on your to-do list or self-improvement plan for a while now? Has your critical inner voice been whispering thoughts such as “journaling is supposed to be easy, why do I find it so hard?” or “why do I keep buying beautiful physical journals but the pages remain empty?” Many people struggle to start a journal. Part of that struggle is about learning how to be vulnerable with ourselves in self-reflection and self-analysis by journaling.
What is Self-Reflection?
We like to think we can control everything, but in reality, sometimes we struggle to control our own minds. We are often on autopilot. That autopilot drives us to take certain actions or follow certain trains of thought when faced with certain situations. Yet, that action or thought pattern is not a helpful one; it won’t always result in the desired outcome.
In fact, there’s a good chance you do something and then later question why you did it when there was a better way to deal with it. In retrospect, we often behave in ways that sabotage our progress and act self-destructively. And that’s where retrospection paired with self-reflection can help you. You can change how you view yourself, how you act in certain circumstances.
Self-reflection is thinking about your beliefs and behaviors in a curious and non-shaming manner to bring about a deeper understanding of yourself. It’s being honest with yourself when you dare to ask thought-provoking questions.
What is Self-Analysis?
Self-analysis is simply taking your self-reflection to the next level. You shouldn’t feel forced into a decision. It isn’t about what you should stop, start or continue to do. Instead, it’s about impacting your life course by understanding who you are. It’s much deeper, it goes beyond what you think and do.
It’s all about you at your core! Who you are, why you are, what you want from life, where you want to go, and who you want to be. You can learn how to cope with the emotions that are tripping you up, the behaviors you hate and increase your self-respect while you’re at it.
Self-analysis will also influence your productivity, performance, and success. Though, more in a long-term function as opposed to short-term. It’s fair to stay that action retrospective improves your short-term performance and helps you build for the future, while self-analysis is more of a long-term function. The reason for this is action retrospective focuses on what and how, whereas the self-analysis aspect of self-reflection is all about why.
Self-Reflective Journal Writing Benefits
You can learn to use a daily journal to be your tool for self-analysis and self-reflection. Let’s be clear, this doesn’t mean you have to sit down and write out absolutely everything that happened each and every day. Rather, you’re going to write about how you felt when certain things happened, why they may have happened and why you felt that way. You’re going to think about how those feelings are linked to your beliefs and values.
It isn’t about what happened, but what you thought, how you felt, your perspective, your environment, words, and actions. The purpose of keeping a journal is to improve your self-awareness. You are reflecting on the day, the week, and the month and getting a clear picture of your desires, your weaknesses, your whole self. It invites insights, it nurtures understanding.
As you journal and regularly reflect, you will notice several journal writing benefits.
· You will get to know yourself as you are in a variety of situations that life throws at you.
· You will become better connected to your desires, emotions, values, and ultimately, your true self.
· Your awareness of self will grow, but so will your environmental awareness. You will better understand the people in your life as well.
· You will develop your relationships, improving your capacity for empathy and love.
· Your focus and clarity will improve.
· Journaling helps you clear your mind and purge your mind of troubling thoughts and emotions. This provides you with stress relief but also increases your potential for self-analysis and creativity.
· You will gain insights that you would miss otherwise.
· You will grow as a problem-solver.
· You will become a more tolerant person, both to yourself and to others.
4 Keys for Beginning Journaling
There are 4 key things to bear in mind as you begin building a practice of journaling.
1. Be Consistent
Journaling is cathartic, it’s easy to sit down and let it all go when you’ve had a difficult day. It’s not as easy to be consistent with your journaling when you’re having a good time. This needs to be a habit. Carve out time for it daily, whether you do it right before bed or take time out after dinner. Schedule it in your diary if you have to. Once you have created this habit you will find your mind slips into that state of self-reflection quicker and easier.
2. Be Quiet and Listen
Find somewhere that you can be alone and shut out all distractions. Part of the self-reflection process is listening for an association, and this will always lead you to the core of the issue. However, distractions interrupt associations and will make journaling a frustrating endeavor.
3. Ask Yourself Why
Why is one of the key questions to trigger your association flow. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself why four hundred times if you have to. The purpose of this exercise is to get to the core… how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes, so ask yourself why as many times as it takes. Okay, there have been a surprising number of studies into that Tootsie Pop question, but they all came to different conclusions (https://tootsie.com/howmanylick-experiments), so our point stands. Asking why will help you gain insight into why you find yourself in particular situations and why you feel a certain way when you do.
It’s important that you learn to distinguish between emotions and your mind. They are connected, but you should recognize that your emotions should serve as a compass that will lead you to insights about yourself.
For example, you have a promotion offer on the table. Logically, it’s an easy yes because that job comes with greater opportunity and a large pay increase. However, your emotions might not align with your logic. Those emotions should guide you to why that’s the case.
4. Self-Reflection Isn’t Judgment
Self-reflection isn’t about judgment. The purpose of journaling to boost self-reflection should not be to criticize yourself. Rather, it’s to gain a deeper understanding of yourself in order to gain insights and develop tolerance. It’s the opposite of a criticism. Self-reflection should increase your capacity for love, both towards yourself and to others. Self-reflection should be honest, but it should also be gentle.
How to Start Your Journal
As George Washington commands in the musical, Hamilton, “Pick up a pen, start writing”.
Sometimes it is just that simple. The words just flow out of the pen. But other times the blank page will stare back at you. If that happens, don’t panic. Skip the first page and leave it intentionally blank. Then use the prompts below to get words flowing out onto the page. There’s no judgment. Approach starting a journal with curiosity and you will succeed.
Journaling Prompts to boost self-reflection
· What makes me unique?
· Who is someone that means the world to me? Why?
· What can I focus on to improve my health?
· What makes me smile? Write a list of five to ten items.
· When do I feel most at peace?
· What does living authentically mean to me?
· What’s my favorite animal? Why?
· How can I maintain my health, physically and mentally?
· What will I achieve this week?
The most important advice I can offer you as you begin the journaling process is to always be honest. Don’t use your journal to create an echo chamber. Use it to challenge yourself. To truly challenge yourself you must be honest and focus on how you can progress in life.
Don’t just write reflexively as you do when someone asks you how you are. You automatically say fine, whether it’s true or not. That’s not what your journal is for.
Allow yourself to ask and answer hard questions about things that happen to you. There should be a difference between the questions you ask yourself on a daily basis and those you ask weekly. The purpose of these questions is to help you assess your progress and highlight areas you should focus on. This will help find and fix recurring problems.
Journal Prompts for Daily Reflection
· What good did I spread today?
· How was my energy today?
· How were my emotions today?
· In what direction did my thoughts guide me today?
· What did today teach me?
· Did I make a new decision today? What expectations do I anticipate from it?
· How did I treat myself and others today?
· Did any of my character flaws show their face today?
· Am I completely engaged or trapped in a routine?
· Did I push myself too hard today?
· Did I push myself hard enough today?
This is also a good opportunity for you to plan for tomorrow. Where will you need to channel your energy and focus tomorrow? Try to limit yourself to three key tasks.
Journal Prompts for Weekly Reflection
· Am I stronger than I was at the start of the week? Or am I weaker?
· What kind of person have I been this week? Am I trying to be someone else or pursuing myself?
· What character flaws have surfaced this week? What will I do about it next week?
· Where am I socially, financially, healthy-wise, romantically?
· Am I moving in the right direction compared to where I want to be?
· Why am I pursuing the goals I am?
· What are my top priorities (no more than 5)?
· What went well this week? What didn’t go well this week?
· Are there any recurring issues I need to fix?
You can finish this weekly reflection session by looking at how you have progressed with your goals, whatever they may be.
Supplies to Start a Journal
In truth the only supplies you really need to start a journal are whatever writing implements you have on hand. But in practice, many of us have found that lining up a few key items make the process ever so much better. Personally I have owned many different physical journals in my lifetime. And while there is a super organized part of me that secretly wishes they all matched I also know that at different times I have wanted different things from my journal. Below are three of my personal favorites that I come back to over and over again.
Classic & Budget Conscious
When I was working full time and often journaled on my lunch break, I needed my journal to blend in with my work stuff. This Moleskine was my go-to journal and I could buy it in a ton of different colors to please my inner teenager. https://www.amazon.com/Moleskine-Classic-Cover-Notebook-Ruled/dp/B075ZDV654
Romantic & Inspiring
I love the wrap around leather straps on this journal. Every time I open it nowadays I feel inspired to open my life up to the grander elements at work. https://www.amazon.com/LEATHER-JOURNAL-Writing-Notebook-Sketchbook/dp/B01E9HP1P8
Practical
When my kids were little I simply couldn’t have a journal without a pen holder. If I sat down to journal and then pen wasn’t right there, journaling would be derailed. The pen had to travel with the journal. Life was hard then. Tiny details mattered. https://www.amazon.com/A5-Classic-Notebook-Journal-Leather-College-Ruled-Paper-Writing-Notebooks-Premium-Holder-Softcover-Notebook/dp/B075RZBB7F
Final Thoughts
This journal will be your go-to for reflecting on both the bad and good experiences you have. It’s all about learning from the experience. Be curious. Your journal can help you identify areas for growth and help you analyze yourself and the events that occur to you. Write about your career, personal life, and relationships.
Often, the most difficult part of journaling is getting started. Your journal is for you so don’t let perfectionism or your inner critic get in the way.
If all this talk about journaling has gotten you motivated, you may want to check out our latest ebook, Self Care is Not Selfish or in our popular ebook, Hush Now – Quiet Your Inner Critic, and the accompanying Workbook. You can also visit our YouTube Channel where we recently posted some videos on Self Care and other mental health topics.
